On over preparing

When I was early in my college teaching career, I almost always over-prepared for my classes. I think I was (subconsciously) anxious about being seen as a knowledgeable and capable professor. While this is no doubt common in teachers at all levels, in my case it was compounded by being an Enneagram Type Five [core fear of being found out not knowing something]. However, it also resulted in class being more of a performance on my part, my acting with the internalized script. I even have memories of finishing class and thinking, “well, that was a good performance.”

However, over time, I realized that the more I relaxed my plan for the class, and actually prepared less, the more it opened space for student participation and interaction. Instead of my performance being primary, there was more of an opportunity for meeting students “in the moment.” Teachable moments arose more spontaneously. [Of course it could have something to do with my own greater experience with teaching, but not completely.]

Later in my career, I realized it that was better to end up with a good class rather than a good performance.